When Will My Life Begin?

I have crafted my life long ago to be oriented towards missions. I don’t know why, though I’m impressed that my dull brain back then has led to the fruition of today, though different than how I set out for it to be. My initial plan was to become an awesome web developer/graphic designer. I would make websites and be a developer creating stuff on Ruby, Rails, CSS/HTML and the whole works; Perhaps I would have got into developing apps… and I started to go that direction. If you looked at my Macbook today, you’d see tons of apps/programs for making websites and the sort. I would be able to find work and work from anywhere in the world, say, work for clients that were in the U.S. while I was overseas at home in my undies.

After I got back from Taiwan, the second time doing SBS, I could not find a job in that direction for many months. During that time I felt like only Rapunzel truly understood the melodrama meltdown of my life. A dear friend was kind enough to let me work with him putting up night time races for Firefly Run, now also known as The Lantern Run. It was a side job to get some income while I looked for other jobs. After a short run with them I found my dream position, doing graphic/web design for a small start up. My boss was Christian and we had similar perspectives and he basically paid me to learn on the job. As great as it was I remember times during my bathroom breaks that I found my job unfulfilling and wishing that I could move on from this job to something else. I saw my job as a means to an end and that end had something to do with the Kingdom of God.

About 5 months in those feelings were placed to rest because I got laid off due to financial reasons; the boss could no longer sustain us both and I was lost again. Once more I woke up to Mandy Moore’s beautiful voice and we sung of our longing for the next phase of life. I was a man without a mission, a warrior without a quest, again. For a few months I was lost taking a break and wondering where to go. I remembered my love for teaching that I got to try out for the first time in Taiwan during my mission trips and decided to take a leap of faith with it. I entered an alternative certification program called, Region 10. I jumped through all the hoops of classes and tests and then student taught 6th graders in Wylie ISD for a semester. After about a year from when I first started I now have my teacher certification for Generalist 4-8 with ESL Supplemental. It was transformative and changed who I am to say the least…

With that I recently secured a position to go to Taiwan to teach English and the Bible to High School students as two different subjects. It’s a Private Christian School that is prestigious in that it’s accredited by WASC(I even checked too.) while not many other schools truly are despite their faulty claims.

Some of my friends are married, with houses, making great investments, and financially set. Here I am starting my second full time job with barely any money, to go to another country where I will pay taxes to two governments at the age of 28. Slow in my maturation and slow in my procession. I am late to the game… I always have been but I’m okay with that. For years I have been repeating that same question, yet I have always felt like something very big was coming. And now that it’s finally here in the horizon, I don’t even understand what I’m looking at. I have an opportunity to impact high schoolers in profound ways. I will be a teacher by deed and model where I show and share the love of Christ, but at the same time I get to teach them of it through the Word of God…

For some of them I may literally be their first exposure to Christianity and Christ. That doesn’t make the circumstance anymore valuable than other Christian teaching environments, but it’s the idea that I’m setting the foundation of what they know that is hopefully built on by others in the future. I don’t think I understand the magnitude or weight of what I’m about to embark myself into… But the way my life has often unfolded and how it’s led to a job that is so niche yet so fitting for me (by resume), I think only leads me to look to the Lord. This whole time I was asking this question I was not stewarding well enough of what was before me, and still am not really. What a fool.

The answer to the question, ‘When will my life begin?’ was that it began long ago, it’s just that I was anticipating this portion for so long that I neglected what was before me when I should have been prepping for what is now here. Perhaps when I start teaching I’ll already be desiring the next…


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