Sometimes, there’s just that moment when you truly feel what you know to be true but may not act on so. The same has happened to me lately as I stare into the rain and realize how much easier it is to continually convince myself that my time here is well spent and that life is short.
I feel like I am learning many things…some more hands-on than others, some more mind-set specific than others, some more relationship-focused than others, and some more God-centered than others. And as I get more of these tools, I realize there will be even more challenges that will require me to put them to use.
Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.
My heart has been feeling very heavy lately. A classmate from high-school passed away about a week ago now, and even though I did not know her very well for some reason when I speak of her I know I’m not okay about it. I think this is my closest dealings with death at a more adult age.
I don’t know what it was about her death though that just made me want to take my studies here much more seriously. It makes me want to take my life more seriously and fight with feral ferocity for all the desire that the Lord has placed on me as well as to love well on others because sometimes as cliche as it may seem, you don’t know when or where you’ll see them again. And you’ll think about how you wish you did say goodbye instead of French leaving…or that you were more generous with them…with your money, time and heart.