Perdre

Recently I have begun a great purge in my life. I have been removing illegally attained files on my computer, usually affiliated with media/games/programs. In all the five prolific years in which I stole without second thought, never has there been conviction in my heart until recently.

What brought the Holy Spirit’s conviction was a sermon a few weeks ago in which my pastor was discussing on when it comes to legalities, Christians are just as comparatively guilty to non-believers. As he went through the check list I just thought about what it was like for me.

In the work place Christians are just as likely to steal from the office.
HELL NAH.

Christians are just as likely to call in sick when they are not.
YUP.

Christians are just as likely to leave early/come late.
YUP.

Christians are just as likely to pirate music,
movies and software off the inter—HAEL, YEUH.

Since I am not currently employed anywhere I thought there was only one thing I could actively do to live out the change God wants. So, before I started deleting files I had less than 10 gigs on my computer of free space(out of 222gigs). Now I have over 92.

I used to download stuff just for the sake of downloading. The Asian in me would feel like my internet was getting its money worth. I downloaded educational material to make myself feel better under the pretense “Education should be free!”, which I still in a way affirm. I could have learned Cantonese over four times if I actually used all my material…as well as around 27 other languages.

There was a time not so long ago when I would wear diapers, veins hooked up to IV fluid and game non-stop for days beating illegal games back to back. After each game, I would triumphantly rip off my diaper, wad it up, and slam dunk that ho into the trash. The diaper would hit the trash can so hard, all the stuff inside would fling out, usually destroyed from the force of impact. With rotten food and fruit peels/seeds on my face I would then challenge my roommate to “BEAT THAT, SUCKAAAAA!“, then sit back on his chair, diaper-less and continue to game. I would then put on a pair of Huggies when I needed it.

As I was uninstalling the last classic hit game, that I never played but installed, it came to my attention all the wasted time all of this was and could have been. If I could have never stole any of this music or any of these games/movies, my time could have gone to something else. I could have learned to break dance/krump, read the Bible more, prayed more, read books, learn to fish, build stuff, go camping. Or maybe I could have learned how to build rockets and shoot them off after school in the hopes of being able to go into space while my dad wanted me to work in the coal mines to support the family.

In a way this sin has lead to death. It has also lead to me not having anything to listen to, besides looping the soundtracks of Gladiator, Mulan, Lion King, and Wedding Dress… But in a way it also gives me more time to work at the things that matter and in that I praise Him.

Lastly the programs I did not delete are the ones that I need for school(Adobe CS3 Garbahj). I’ll buy them when I graduate…maybe.