Elfen Lied

After recently finishing Lord of the Rings it has gotten me on an elf-mania. I started to look up stuff from the Silmarillion and wikipedia and searched for answers that would give me a better understanding of LOTR. I was also then inspired to download almost every good Lord of the Rings game and beat them. After that I started looking for more games with elves to play and beat those too. Hell yeah, nerding it up.

Elves became most popular because of J. R. R. Tolkien and his attention to detail. Their popularity must have been a huge hit when the books came out. And over the generations it slowly died out and was something that you can’t relate to as easily. But things like WoW bring them back. The ever-youthful, clear skinned, agile, asian dressing white people with their song like words with English accents are irresistible. This was all until WoW brought in the blood elves, and they now look Asian… if you choose it to black or brown hair…kind of. I remember when the first movie came out, my English teacher in high school busted a nut over Orlando Bloom. This was a lady that always giggled about Shakespeare’s metaphors for the penis. She would often go on for half the period about the naughtiness of ‘swords’ and what not. Often when I left that class I would remain calm until I stepped outside, collapse then proceed to shudder violently from disgust. I would often bring a pillow cause I shook so violently I’d bang my head on the ground a lot.

Then I realized something after watching Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. Sidenote: If you did not see any of the previous films there will be many things you don’t understand. Vampires are the new elves, but derrty. They are the ever youthful, clear skinned, agile, ‘fair’ creatures that do it a lot. Angel, Spike, Edward Cullen, Dracula, Selene, and Sonja are all examples of the new promiscuous and slutty elves that do it in the derrty dark. Because vampires are immortal and generally set in a more similar world to ours it’s easier to be able to bring them into our world as opposed to elves. If need be it’s also easier to do flashbacks or just change the time settings to something more medieval. And because of that they are easier to relate to.

Gone are the days when vampires would scare you and make you barf on site. Well…not completely.

Elves in modern day?! Singing songs and shooting arrows does not sound as appealing as they do when they are in a fantasy. The only time I’ve seen this done well is in Hell Boy 2, and Luke Gross does not sing in it.

This is without going deeper into the more hardcore D&D realms where there’s a million other elf races/sub-races. But I would briefly mention Drow Elves are like vampires! Except their allergy to sunlight is less harsh, they don’t have to feed and are usually evil?

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