There was once a boy named Hong Hai Er(紅孩兒) who had no friends. But we will call him Red. A lot of his classmates were acquaintances; they would not share their crayons with him, and he would most definitely not invite them to his birthday party of 1000 people, either. Red was the type of boy who would only be loved by his Mother. Many of the kids picked on him because of his name, dimensions and race. So on a lonely night as Red hugged his Friend Bear (Carebear with flowers on her stomach), he prayed to God for a friend.

“If there was a God, he’d send me a friend.”

The next day a girl named Steph was a new student to their school. Coincident or not, Red refused to befriend her, she was a girl and had a peculiar Vietnamese accent. Vietnamese or not, girls had coodies and Red did not want _any_ of that all up on his body.

Because they were both considered foreign students they were put into ESL/ESOL classes and saw each other often. Hostilities naturally grew between them when (platonic) love did not.

Red made fun of her a lot, to the point where he would have to have an awkward reconciliation with her almost 5 years later. He would learn that he had scarred her deeply as she did have problems with her father and just recently moving to a place where she too had no friends did not help. But that lesson of guilt is for another time.

As if a panther waiting for vulnerable moments to pounce his prey, Red would wait for moments to slip in sly comments and hurtful statements. With an arsenal of a mouth and words like daggers it felt good to drop the heaviest of disses on Steph. Each tear she shed made him feel like he won a thousand dollars. And everyday he’d feel like a millionaire.

But as schools changed Red hardly saw her. Good riddance. He thought.

Years later, still feeling companion-less he tried it out again.

“ If there was a God, he’d send me another friend.”

The next day there was Kim, 6th grade, a Korean girl on the verge of turning A-Z-N. Red refused to talk to her too; she was _real_ frumpy, and once again a girl. He only saw her a few times a week and he figured it was a wasted effort. Her blunt and belligerent attitude scared him as well. So Red, dismissed any thoughts of reaching out…Fu*boop* that. He thought.

As time went on, Red felt empty and watched as Steph and Kim became skinnier, prettier and more popular each year. However his pride would not let that get the best of him, when he heard rumors of things like “anal itching cream” and the sort, it only reinforced his thoughts of staying away from them and how much better off he was without them.

At the beginning of Junior High school. —Red says.

“ If there was a God, he’d send me…more friends.”

He went to class the next day and found Nami and Leslie in his first period AP English class. They sat in the back behind him. Feeling like he should befriend them, he was but too afraid. Affirmation and appreciation was not received often by Red so insecurities ran high and shyness was never lacking. Though they were also all in the same Orchestra for a long time together he returned their pleasantries but never really spoke to them or tried to get to know them.

Red’s tenure was plentiful with empty companionship from his computer. For years it went on, and Red fattened, and became sociably worse. No proms. No banquets. No hanging out. Though the truth was that he didn’t bother trying to find a date…but he also didn’t have people to go with, or a car to take him anywhere.

While others reminisce about high school in the future Red will never be able to share in it.

All grown up at the age of 18, holding Friend-Bear tightly as it soaked up all his tears, Red says…

“If there was a God, he’d send me…even more friends.”

Feeling like he should finally apply the lessons he learned he decided to be more outgoing and treat others like he would like to be treated. Though Red was socially and emotionally stunted in growth, his long enduring pain of loneliness and the extended period to play by himself, created a strange character out of him. His sense of humor and creativity amused others and attracted friends and strangers.

There was free food that night. Red half awakened by the noise at 8PM while holding his sponge of tears, Friend Bear, sees the pizza from his window. He kicked out his front door and scurried downstairs. He greeted all his acquaintances and loaded up his plate with pizza, and stands right next to the boxes so he can refill immediately. It was all for quicker efficiency before those other ignoramuses could take his pizza, Red made sandwiches out of the pizza, using pizza as the meat and bun. He’d take the biggest bites he could and swallow, chewing as little as possible, if at all.

Red was not fond of the food…

Man this tastes like a bucket of jiz.—-“Hi… I’m Luke. “

Can’t talk, eating. Red thought, but said…“Oh, hi, I’m Red…”

“!…My friends told me about you… they said you’re really funny and that I should be looking out for you… “ There stood Luke, shirtless, wet from the pool, and shoulder to shoulder sandwiched between two women that made even the oldest of heads turn and the coldest of blood boil.

Many people would not be surprised if they heard Luke actually washed clothes on his abs, which he did. Or that he slept on a pile of beautiful women, which he denies, but is true. His body was so chiseled and sculpted that it looked like he should be bleeding from multiple parts of his body.

So that was how Red met Luke. As time progressed Red was becoming better friends with the few that came with him to the local college from his high school. As Red went to sleep a few months later, holding a moldy and tear-stained Friend-Bear he thought to himself…

If there was a God, he has shown himself to me.


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